My Spiritual Journey – How I Became A Medium

Many people ask me about my spiritual journey and if I’ve always had the ability to connect with spirit. We’re going to take a look at that and explore my spiritual journey and how I became a spiritual medium. 

Today, we’re going to be taking a look at my spiritual journey and how I ultimately was able to connect with spirit. I realized I was able to really connect with spirit as a child, but I didn’t understand what it was at the time. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I finally began to develop the abilities that were already there. You see, I didn’t really go looking for a spirit. They basically recruited me.

I really grew up in an agnostic materialist household. And it was one where I didn’t have any formal religion or formal religious education. I was pretty much of a blank slate. My parents were materialists. They didn’t believe in spirit. They only could believe what they could see and hear and touch in the here and now.

It certainly wasn’t anything in the way of being spiritual in any way, shape or form. Yet as a child, I was in touch with spirit, but I just really wasn’t fully aware of what they were trying to do or even who they were. For example, I was connecting with animals, I was connecting with trees, I could feel the energy. It was almost as if I was having a conversation with them, and they could understand me. 

It really started to expand to the point where I was starting to see almost these “playmates” that were basically what I thought were make believe. I was an only child. So I thought, “Oh, I’ve got such a wonderful imagination that I’m connecting with these people, and I’m having these wonderful conversations. Even if nobody else can’t see them, that’s okay. I’m just making them up.” Or so I thought.

Hindsight, of course, is 20/20 because I should have realized that when they were able to converse back with me, and we were able to have a full conversation back and forth, that something was just a little bit different, that I was having full on conversations with people that nobody else could see. And I was clearly hyperactive. I was always reacting to energy. I don’t know if that was something that we might refer to as ADHD back then or not, but I was connecting with the energy.

Of course, back then we didn’t have any cell phones, so that wasn’t a cause for my hyperactivity. But what was pretty clear was that I was having active conversations with people that nobody else could see. But I was having a grand old time. Eventually I also started to have these experiences where as an only child, I’d hear voices in my room when my parents were at the other end of the house. I lived in rural Connecticut, so clearly there wasn’t anybody else there.

I’d feel these people in my room. I’d hear their voices. Sometimes I’d feel a hand on my back as I lay in bed trying to get to sleep at night. I just pulled the covers over my head saying, “Go away, go away, go away.” Because I thought they were monsters. I thought they were monsters coming out of my closet to take me away back to their lair because I thought, you know, this is something from either, ghost stories that you hear at camp or horror movies that probably I should not have been watching as a child. But it was a sheer terror, sheer fear of the unknown when I started having these connections at nighttime. It just kept on happening. At some point, I’d also have these energy blankets, these effervescent, champagne bubble-like energy blankets wrapping around me. 

I didn’t know what it was. I was convinced that it was something bad, it was something abnormal. I thought whatever was abnormal was bad, of course. And at that point, I just kept on getting more scared the more that spirit was trying to connect with me. And I kept on thinking of the terrible things that would happen to a child, based on all the ghost stories that I’d always been hearing from camp or movies or whatever. So I was begging them to leave and I kept them saying, “Oh no, please go away, please don’t hurt me, just go away.” And eventually I got my wish, they went away. And at first I was quite relieved, but then I began to get a little bit forlorn because I realized, “Hey, wow, these are people that are in my life. These are people that are connecting with me. I can have conversations with these people. I’m having wonderful connections with these people.”

They were no longer there. I had basically sent them away because I just didn’t want them in my life because they were scaring me. But over time, as I got older, I began to get more logical. I began to get more material, analytical. I had to have things proven to me. I had to have things in front of me that otherwise it was not real. It was not possible unless it was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Skepticism and Analytical Mindset

All these childish thoughts that I had make believe, I was putting them aside. I kept on realizing that even, as a young adult, I was still sensing people behind me and I’d whip around and nobody was there and I’d still get scared. I was still scared of the dark, and I would still think they’re these monsters because I still didn’t understand it. But I just kept on saying, “Okay, whatever’s there, I’m just putting it away. It’s got to be my mind. I’m making it all up.” 

I kept on trying to push that away. Ultimately, I became this closed-minded skeptic. And I needed proof of everything. And I took that mindset, that analytical mindset, to Wall Street as an analyst. I tried to make my career on Wall Street as a logical analyst, and I was skeptical of everything.

When you’re on Wall Street and you’re on as an analyst, you have to be a skeptical of everything that you’re given, especially if you’re trying to determine what a management team of a company is actually saying. Are you going to believe a hundred percent of what they’re telling you or is it really rose-colored glasses? I was very skeptical of everything that came my way. 

Things began to change. I mean, you know, while I was on Wall Street, obviously that’s the furthest thing from the spiritual mindset as you can probably get. As my life began to move along and progress, that’s when things started to change because the death of my parents, for example, really challenged my view of existence.

Before then, I never had really thought about death or anything about that because there was no reason to. Yet, my father died when I was 18 and that totally introduced me to the concept of physical death which I had never encountered before. It totally shook me up, opened my thoughts to a whole new avenue. “Where am I going with this? What does it mean? What does death mean? What is death? What’s beyond life? Is there such a thing as anything beyond life?”

These were ideas that were suddenly forced in front of me and I began to explore them but still, there was a lot of confusion. I actually saw my father in several incredibly vivid dreams but I didn’t understand it. I was still confused. It didn’t make any sense to me because I was still in that mindset of “Has to be proven, this is all very logical. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Then my mother died when I was in my early 30s, and that totally shook up my world. My world crumbled, my reality was completely shattered, everything was flipped upside down. At that point, I began to feel completely alone, totally disconnected with anything that was there. Life had a giant question mark and then all of a sudden there was a gaping hole and I didn’t know what to do with it. It really forced me to fully examine the whole concept and meaning of life and death. It made me look at it head-on and explore the meaning of life and death. It really forced me to look at perhaps was there life after death, maybe there wasn’t, but it forced me to sort of start doing this exploration. And so, I began voraciously reading all about life and death and life after death and is there life after death? 

What started happening was there was this amazing list of books that started appearing in front of me. It was almost like a giant summer reading list started appearing before me. And these titles would mysteriously come to my awareness. I felt, “Oh, I’ve got to read that. I’ve got to read that. I’ve got to read this one. Oh my gosh, look at that.” I just began voraciously devouring all of these books, all of this information that started coming out of the woodwork that was never there before.

Looking back, it’s pretty obvious that spirit was basically dropping all these titles in front of me, kind of like they were breadcrumbs for me to follow. Clearly, I was following them absolutely. They were leading me by the nose, totally. I just kept on understanding and opening and beginning to become more aware, but still I was in this dichotomy of “I’m in the here and the now, but what’s beyond the here and the now?” And so, a lot of confusion, a lot of misinformation, at one point I really didn’t know what to do. 

I’m still back on Wall Street and still in my analyst job and I’m getting really stressed out trying to understand “How do I balance these two lives? What can I do? I’m completely upside down in one life, yet my work life is moving forward.” I’m getting really stressed out, totally hung up.

I’m trying to understand what do I do? As I get more and more uncomfortable and more and more stressed out, I’m starting to take it out on my family. I urgently start looking for ways to relax. And as I do that, I begin to uncover different ways. One of the ways I uncovered was meditation. But I was still very skeptical of meditation. Remember, I’m in that skeptical mindset because I started thinking to myself, “Wait a second, a meditation, isn’t that something only for people who are up in the Himalayas or the Hindu Kush somewhere and you’ve got to be not in contact with anybody and it’s only for gurus and special people?” I started looking and finding all these different tracks and videos at the time, I wasn’t really sure I was comfortable with them. 

Spiritual Awakening and Profound Experiences

Then all of a sudden, I ran across this one audio track of a meditation that really got me. It really hooked me. I really enjoyed it. It didn’t have any agenda, it was really calming, it was really relaxing. I really found it to be so wonderful and I really liked it. I began to sit with this meditation almost every day for about 15 minutes before I went to work. I began to get so addicted to this meditation, so hooked on this meditation, I would meditate every single day and I didn’t really realize what was happening. I just kept on meditating every day for about 12 months. 

Suddenly at the end of that 12-month period is when I had my spiritual awakening. That spiritual awakening was perhaps the biggest thing that had ever happened to me at that time and still is one of the biggest things that I credit to my understanding what spirit really is today.

My spiritual awakening was when I was in my “man cave.” Every guy has to have his man cave. I think it was a Saturday morning. I’m in my armchair. I’m meditating for about 30 minutes. I’m deep into my meditation. I’m like, “Oh, this is beautiful.” I’m getting deeper and deeper and deeper, more and more relaxed, down, down. 

All of a sudden, I see in my mind’s eye these four spirit people in front of me, two on my left, two on my right. Somehow I recognized them. I don’t know why I recognized them. I didn’t know who they were, but I felt like I knew them somehow. And there was one person all the way on the right-hand side who was far bigger and felt far more powerful and energetic than the others. I started feeling like there was a rapport between us. 

The next thing I know, he’s shooting a literal beam of energy right through my chest, out through my back, which totally shocked me because suddenly I realized, “Wow, I’m not dreaming. I’m wide awake and I can feel this physically”, which totally shook me. And after that happened, I started having this out-of-body experience. 

I started feeling like I’m getting immediately taken away to a place that I can only liken to perhaps this beautiful outer space type of area. I remember thinking, “This is beautiful, this is wonderful.” At that point, as I’m connecting with this essence, as I’m feeling this beautiful love that’s all around me, I feel incredible, unconditional love ,and unity consciousness. 

I began to understand that the totality of everything was actually one. I began to become aware of unity and realize that the duality that we live in, in the physical, was actually an illusion. I became aware that we were all connected as one. I felt like I was a thread in a tapestry, and that we were all connected and this tapestry went on forever. It had no end. There was no beginning. There was no ending. It just went on ad infinitum. 

I began becoming in contact and feeling a connection with some entity. I don’t know who it was. Perhaps it was my guide, perhaps it was my upper self. Perhaps it was God. I don’t know who it was, but it just kept on coming back and saying, “You’re perfect, you’re perfect.” And I remember thinking, “There’s no way I’m perfect. There’s absolutely no way. You don’t know what I’ve done in life! I can’t be perfect. That’s not right.” 

But it just kept on coming, “You’re perfect, you’re perfect.” The feeling of unconditional love was so powerful. The meaning of the word love is so far beyond the human word that we use, that the human word love is like the tip of the iceberg. It’s like that 1% of the iceberg that you see floating above the surface. This unconditional love that I was experiencing was the other 99% below the waterline that I had never experienced before. It was so far beyond my comprehension and understanding. I just knew it was just beyond me. As they say, “It’s the love that goes beyond all understanding.”

At that point, I was just completely hooked. I was in, I was there. And it was the understanding of duality and separation, that illusion and the coming together of the unity and the unconditional love that was completely surrounding me and the awareness that it was telling me I was somehow perfect. It was perhaps one of the most profound experiences that I’d ever had.

After I finally came out of it, I recovered somewhat. I ran to my desk and scribbled down everything I could possibly remember after coming out of the fog. Very soon thereafter, I started having all these wild experiences. I started having these incredible experiences. I started feeling that effervescent energy wrapping around me again. I started hearing the voices, all over again, I started feeling the presence of people around me that I couldn’t see, but I knew they were there. And I’d have these energetic touches like I had when I was a child when I felt that hand on my back. I started having all these things happening all over again. It was pretty clear that this portal from my childhood had reopened. 

It was something that was just like a trigger, like all of a sudden, the lock had been unlocked, the door was reopened and the portal was totally reopened. And I started having these beautiful dream visitations from family members and from other people that at the time I didn’t know who they were. I knew they were very different. I knew they were visitations because a regular dream, you don’t really understand it. You barely remember anything that happens. You’re not really quite sure of the details. You couldn’t really begin to explain it or describe it or give any information about it. 

With a dream visitation, it is so vividly detailed to the nth degree. It’s so profound and it’s so memorable that you remember all the details for years on end to the nth degree. You can recite everything that happened and give all the information as if it just happened. For example, when I had my visitation with my father, which happened many, many years ago, to this day I can remember the smell of his bathrobe. I can remember every word of our conversation. I can remember exactly where we were. I can remember everything that happened in that visitation.

Now you can’t do that with any regular dream. With any regular dream, you’re LUCKY if you’d remember it through the end of the day. I mean, heck, I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast, let alone remember a dream. So these visitations were clearly, totally different than any kind of dream that you might ever happen to have. I knew that the portal from my childhood had reopened. 

I began to understand that I had to learn what was happening and I had to understand and grapple with the magnitude of this connection that I was starting to have as an adult with spirit. Because remember spirit basically was recruiting me. It wasn’t me looking for spirit. They came very patiently and they came back and they said, “We’re connecting with you now. Now that you have the experience and the understanding, we’re connecting with you now.” 

I had to learn what it was all about. I had to learn what the connection was, how to work with it, how to open, how to close. And so, I started going and having classes to understand what spirituality was, what spirit was. Because in the very beginning, I started thinking, “Wait a second, I’m connecting with spirit. There are only two types of people in the world who can connect with spirit. These are either incredible gurus or they’re crazy people. Well, I’m not a guru, so…Oh my God, I’ve gone crazy!” 

I started thinking I was going crazy and I really had the worst time understanding what was happening. I was definitely afraid that my brain had snapped because of all the stress and all the things that were going on in my life. These classes were helping me to grapple with that, helping me to understand that, helping me to work with spirit and to connect with their love. I remember at one point asking spirit, “Why are you connecting with me? I’m just a regular guy.” Before I could even finish that question, the answer was already coming to me from them when they said, “Because you’re a regular guy.” 

I thought about that for a second. I’m like, “Wow, that makes so much sense. It means that I can express their messages, their thoughts, their desires their love, their healing in a relatable manner because I’m just a regular guy. I’m not some person from the Hindu Kush that people can’t comprehend or grapple with. I’m just from Main Street, right?” 

It made so much sense. I’m like, “Wow, spirit, you’re brilliant. That makes so much sense.” Of course, I was still partly in that skeptical material side, which for the longest time, it took so long to get beyond the logical left-brain side of me that was so dominant for so long. It was a very slow process to get moving. 

But anyway, so spirit was letting me know that they were in connection with me. They were letting me know that they were trying to get me to be their ambassador, if you will, a sort of like a Main Street ambassador, a relay station, a telephone booth that they could link into and say, “Hey, listen, we just need somebody who people can understand to relay our messages for us.” I started understanding that concept and saying, “Oh, okay, that actually makes a lot of sense.” 

I started to watch all these mediums demonstrate and work with their recipients and work with audiences. And I began to witness this profound healing and transformation and this love that was getting transferred to the recipient from spirit. The loving healing that was coming through was amazing. The unusual and unique evidence that would come through to the sitter from Spirit that nobody else could know.

The two individuals, those two loved ones, perhaps it’s a spouse or what have you, only they could know. Personal conversations that nobody else knew, personal things that happened that only they knew, unique evidence about the person in spirit who’s trying to communicate. All these things started coming through. Their personalities would come through and these mediums would paint the communicator back into 3D.

You could see and feel that the communicator was right there with them. It was beautiful to watch. Soon you’d start to see the impact that this was having on the sitters. It was so beautiful because you’d see the impact on the faces of these recipients. Their demeanor would change. Their outlook would change. Their face would change. 

Understanding the Continuation of Life After Death

They’d previously be sitting there looking so forlorn, so down, “Oh, this is horrible.” All of a sudden, they’d reconnect with let’s say a child and it’s “Oh my gosh. I’m speaking to my son again Oh, he’s alive!” And you just see them light up like a candle. It’s like oh my gosh. You just the spark of joy and life that would overtake them was palpable.

I had tears running down my face when I watched this happen. It’s unlike anything else. That’s when I realized that that’s what I wanted to do. I wanted to help other people. I wanted to bring through the same type of love and healing and do that in the same way. I wanted to bring the healing, the hope, the love, the connection, and the transformation that I was seeing with these mediums. 

That’s what I realized, that’s what I want to do. That’s what I’m here for. That’s why spirit is connecting with me. Spirit’s connecting with me to bring through their love, to bring through their healing, to bring that incredible transformation to people. And that’s when I started understanding that people are always alive after they transition. There is no such thing as “death.” Our consciousness lives on.

It’s just a transference of energy. If you recall from the last episode, I spoke about how we are all energy. We are all at a specific vibration rate and like the butterfly, we just transform our energy to a different state. Recall that matter changes from one state to another. That’s all we’re doing in this being. We understand ourselves as physical humans on earth.

During transition, the energy shifts and we transition to higher vibration energy so that energy becomes non-physical. Just because we can’t see that doesn’t mean it’s not existent. All the evidence that’s coming through from the communicators are showing that they are completely alive. It’s that understanding that we live on after the word, “death.”

What’s beautiful is that now that I’m a medium, I’ve been so honored and so blessed by spirit to watch how spirit is bringing through that love and bringing through that healing. I’ll see parents connect with their lost children. I’ll see spouses reunite with each other and communicate with each other again. And the bond of love is so powerful. 

Sometimes, the loved ones will be together in a reading, and the emotion is just so beautiful. Sometimes I’ll see the children connecting with their lost parents and that is so beautiful. It’s these family reunions that are so powerful and so palpable and so beautiful and it’s incredible. That’s really what’s so amazing is to know that spirit lives on. That’s why I became a medium to bring through the healing, to bring through the love, and to let everybody know that we live on beyond the transition people refer to as the death of the physical body. 

I hope this was something that really gives you a perspective as to my spiritual journey, why I became a medium, and a better understanding that we live beyond the point of transition that we refer to as “death.” So this episode was all about that and I hope you enjoyed that. You can certainly get a lot of detail, greater notes on my page, spiritsbesidus.com. You can take a look at some of the detail in the show notes. So go there for the show notes and more detail and references about that. 

Conclusion: Reach Out and Share Your Questions

Stay tuned for next week’s episode because next week, we’re going to be talking all about what the spirit world is really like. We’ll go into detail about the structure, how people move on between different levels, what the transition process is like as we go through that, as people experience that, because spirit has come through in a lot of detail, both in automatic writings, as well as in many different readings, they’ve detailed what that transition is like. We’ll talk about everything within the spirit world, what the transition process is like and how people are moving through the levels. 

Also, I’d love to hear from you what topics you’d like to hear about, what kind of questions that you have that we can talk about in future episodes of the show. With that, by all means, reach out to me at SpiritsBesideUs.com. You can certainly see that on the website. For now, this is Chris signing off, sending you love and light. I will see you in the next episode. Bye for now.